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Improve Non-Verbal Communications
You’ve probably heard people say, “it’s not what you say but how you say it.” They’re talking about non-verbal communication and it’s one of the most important skills you can have as a man. Nonverbal communication is communication without words. It includes facial expressions, gestures, posture, and tone of voice.
Nonverbal communication is often more important than verbal communication, because it can reveal a person’s true feelings and intentions. For example, if a person is verbally expressing that they’re happy, but their facial expression is sad, wouldn’t you believe the facial expression over the words?
How much of communication is non-verbal?
The 55/38/7 Formula
Experts believe that 90% of communication is non-verbal. A body language researcher named Albert Mehrabian looked at face-to-face communication and determined that only 7% of communication dealt with actual words. About 38% was vocal inflections and the remaining 55% was nonverbal. He found that people’s true intentions aligned more with their nonverbal cues than their spoken words.
The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication
In a world where so much communication takes place electronically, it’s easy to forget the importance of face-to-face interaction. But the truth is, nonverbal communication plays a vital role in our everyday lives. It’s the glue that holds together society and it can fuel your ambitions, desires, and dreams.
Nonverbal communication is an important tool to master in both your personal and professional life. From the way we dress and groom ourselves to the way we stand and interact with others, we are constantly sending out nonverbal cues that can influence the way that we are perceived. And in a business setting, first impressions are everything.
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By taking the time to learn more about it, you can start to use the spaces in between your words to your advantage. Learning to read and interpret nonverbal communication can help you better understand the people you interact with on a daily basis. It can also provide insights into how you are coming across to others.
- Are you projecting confidence or insecurity?
- Are you appearing approachable or aloof?
- Can you trust someone enough to seal the deal?
- Can you tell if someone is lying just by the way they looked at you?
Being able to answer these questions could make a big difference in your life. It’s our hope that you can become a master of nonverbal communication and that’s why we put together this seven day booster. Obviously, you can’t do this alone. It’s about communication. So, try out these seven techniques with friends, family and co-workers throughout the week.
Day One: Make Eye Contact
When you are talking to someone, make sure to maintain eye contact. This shows that you are interested in what they are saying and that you are paying attention. Avoid looking around the room or at your phone while the other person is talking.
This can get a bit creepy so don’t overdo it. Be sure to provide safe pauses in the conversation by breaking that stare. You’re not a vampire, after all. Just be attentive when someone is speaking to you and let them know that you’re totally dialed into the conversation.
Day Two: Use Facial Expressions
Facial expressions can convey a lot of meaning and can help to emphasize what you are saying. Make sure your face is expressing the emotions that you want to convey. This is all about the consistency of your message, making sure that there’s agreement there.
You can try nodding your head slowly or pinching your eyebrows together to show intensity. Another technique is the slowly spreading smile. Start with a warm grin that gradually blooms into a full-blown smile. This indicates that someone’s positive message has been fully received, analyzed and reciprocated.
Day Three: Use Body Language
Kinesis is the way that you move your body, and you can use this to convey different meanings. Your body language can give clues about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. So, be aware of your body language and use it to communicate your feelings and thoughts.
You can project a sense of calm by slowing down your movements and folding your hands. You can create a sense of urgency by leaning forward and pointing things out to direct someone’s attention toward an object or goal. Try to avoid crossing your arms when you speak because this is a closed-off posture that can indicate you’re hiding something or that you don’t want the conversation to go any further.
Related: How to recognize your feelings
Day Four: Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues from Others
Nonverbal cues, such as tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions, can give you lots of information about how the other person is feeling. Pay attention to these cues to better understand the conversation. This is your time to observe the body language of others. Try out what you’ve learned so far and see if you can spot the subtle clues of nonverbal communication.
You should ask lots of questions on this day. If someone gives you a signal that they’re not pleased with something that you said, be sure to ask them about it to get a confirmation. If someone seems eager to jump into the conversation, ask them if there’s something on their mind. You should start to see patterns and correlations between nonverbal cues and the responses that you get from questions.
Day Five: Use Proxemics
Proxemics is the study of how people use space to communicate. Be aware of how close you are standing to the other person and use this to convey your feelings. For example, standing closer to someone can show that you are interested in them or that you are feeling intimate. Standing a bit far off opens up the space for them to express themselves more freely.
This is a huge part of nonverbal communication. Some people use proxemics to mark their territory and dominate conversations. This can be off-putting in a professional setting, especially for female co-workers, introverts, or people that feel vulnerable. So, be mindful of the way you communicate with space.
Day Six: Use Chronemics to Adjust Your Timing
Have you ever talked with someone who just blurted out everything too fast or took forever to get their point across? Some people just aren’t good with chronemics. That’s how we use time to convey meaning. Comedians are masters of timing. They use chronemics to set up punchlines and control the pacing of their jokes.
You can use these same techniques to become a better communicator, as well. In a professional setting, time is vitally important. So, you need to be mindful of how long it takes you to communicate. Speak slowly when the message is especially important and needs clarity. Speak swiftly when the message is important but requires a sense of urgency.
Day Seven: Be More Aware of the Audience.
There are so many different ways that people communicate and the best communicators consider the audience first and foremost. Nonverbal communication can vary greatly from culture to culture and person to person. You should spend this day increasing your awareness of these differences and make adjustments to your communication accordingly.
The most important thing to express in this regard is authenticity. You should never try to codeswitch or fake your way into someone’s comfort zone. Focus on the message that you want to convey and try to represent that message in a way that is genuine and true to your personality. Conversely, you should always receive someone else’s message with open-mindedness and consideration of their perspective.
Putting it All Together
Each day in this booster guide for nonverbal communication provides you with a small piece of the puzzle. You have to put the pieces together to become a more effective communicator. Just go with the flow and use different techniques to see which ones resonate with your personal communication style.
There are also more ways to become a better communicator. Nonverbal communication can include the cologne or perfume that you wear or the way in which you attract others. Just the way in which you draw attention to yourself is a powerful message about who you are. So, feel free to go beyond the techniques in this guide to max out your potential.
Have you already tried some of these nonverbal communication techniques? We’d love to know how they’re working for you. Shoot us an email or comment below to share your progress.
