Counseling Men and Women – Straight, Lesbian or Bi
The counseling services I provide are available to all peoples, meaning straight men and women, gay men and lesbians. While the specific issues impacting different groups are important, particularly in the context of being a multi-culturally competent counselor, the basics of human psychology remain the same.
And so, I am a men’s specialist but that specialty is not confined to sexual orientation. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t work with women because I do.
What does this mean?
It means that straight and gay men at times will struggle with anxiety over the course of their lifespans. And the same holds true for women, regardless if sexual orientation. And so it is my viewpoint that all of us have a unique life story that deserves to be heard, respected and validated.
While it is true that the specific sources for emotional challenges, such as anxiety and depression are certainly different for different people, the emotional impact of these feelings are similar on the human psyche.
Counseling Men – Gay, Straight or Bi
The men I work with have shared with me that they feel safe speaking with me about their issues because they know everything that share is held in confidence. In my own experience, issues impacting men can often be universalized to male psychology in general.
Here are a few things that I am talking about:
- How guys feel about themselves
- Comparisons to other men
- Competitive streaks
- Masculinity issues
- Needing to be “Alpha”
- Financial concerns
- Relationship and marriage challenges
- Monogamy challenges
- Intimacy fears
- Dating and becoming attached
- Substance abuse problems
- Addiction and compulsive behaviors
- Achieving peak performance
Counseling Women – Straight or Lesbian (or Bi)
The women that I have worked with over the years have shared with me that they like working with a male counselor because they are able to receive a “guy’s” perspective on issues from a dude. In fact, I have heard this more times than I can remember. This is particularly true of women who have come to me trying to better understand how their man “thinks”.
One of the things I try to help women understand about male psychology is that guys do in fact have feelings and emotions. I mention this because it is no secret that men in our society have been inculcated to not show what they are feeling because (wrongly if you ask me) it is thought to be a sign of weakness.
And so I help women to “see” the different ways that guys show emotions, which primarily happens through actions and deeds instead of words. In my experience, this point applies to all men, regardless of sexual orientation.
The women that I have worked with who identify as lesbian are amazing. I say this because many have been gifted with psycho-spiritual aspects about femininity and masculinity that transcend orientation. Being in meaningful, loving and lasting relationships is a key take-away that I have learned. And to be clear, I love my lesbian sisters within the larger LGBT community that I belong to and am proud of.
My goal as a counselor is to help people who are seeking guidance in their lives. The men and women I work with (straight, gay, bi) have helped me to gain new insight as a counselor on how the genders think.
This exchange of insight; both male and female energies, masculine and feminine, creates an opportunity for true insight into how all of us approach life challenges – and ultimately, find resolutions.
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