Human Doing vs. Human Being Explored
Human being vs. human doing. Do you remember when you were a kid, and someone asked – what do you want to BE when you grow up? You used to want to BE something awesome, but now you’re just stuck doing stuff.
As men, we often feel the pressure to constantly be doing something. Our lives are defined by our occupations and how well we’re “crushing it”. If you’re not crushing it day in and day out then you’re considered to be weak. There is an inherent aspect of toxic masculinity that implies that we need to perform at a greater level of activity than our female counterparts.
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Vacations and weekends are the best ❤️ spending time with family, friends or your own interests and hobbies or resting your mind and body are just remarkable….. that said … when I say above “living for them” what I mean is, so many literally hate Monday and adore Friday afternoon which means they hate their job or professional life, my concern there is that the % of time you spend on your work life is extraordinary, think about it, 2 days a week for weekend, 5 for work, how many vacation days do you get? 1,2,3 weeks, a national holiday here and there and that’s it. Please please please, if you genuinely “live” for Friday night aka you hate your Monday-Friday am, please let’s debate ways to adjust, whether that means living in a less fancy way, doing a side gig like flipping sports cards so u can save money, freelancing, moving in with friends or back home. Living a life where u hate the majority of your time, isn’t good, period!
When dealing with emotions, it’s important to try and find a balance between the mind that is compelled to always DO things and the mind that needs to just BE things. Why? Because being defined by what you’re doing is a sure fire way to lose your true sense of self.
Men are rarely brought up to BE or feel a certain way about themselves. Men are enculturated to DO and impact their environment in certain ways. Everybody gets asked when they’re a kid – what do you wanna be when you grow up? Yet, as we grow, we tend to transform those answers into DOING.
Remember – We wanted to BE firefighters. We wanted to BE astronauts. We wanted to embody those iconic personages. So, how did we wind up sitting at a desk for 8 to 10 hours doing insurance claims?
What is a Human Doing Mindset?
The human doing always feels the need to do more. He’s busy for no reason at all. If you are a human doing you might find yourself thinking – I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to do that. Life becomes one big task sheet filled with itemized activities that reload every single day.
That sort of lifestyle can lead you to believe that your life is worthless if you aren’t in a constant state of productivity. When you’re stuck living life as a human doing, you might feel like you don’t have a life at all. It can also negatively affect the people around you.
A 2016 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that men who worked 50 hours a week created more stress for their partners and children at home. So, while you’re out doing all the work, your family is suffering. You’re not helping them live a better life.
Yet, there’s so much pressure for the human doing. Just look at the current situation with the COVID-19 pandemic. Here’s an example I know you’ve seen. There were lots of social media posts from entrepreneurs and business gurus that alluded to the idea that if you’re not learning a new skill or starting a new business during lockdown, then you just don’t have it in you.
If you’re not using this time to max out every aspect of your life, then you’re not a true hustler. The underlying message is that if you’re not constantly doing things, you suck as a person. Believe me, you don’t have to get up a 4 AM every day, work out for 2 hours, and read two books before lunch to be successful.
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Constantly working isn’t healthy and it might not make you happy, after all. You could miss out on important moments with your loved ones.
Working relentlessly can leave you feeling burned out and stressed out. It can also suck you into some seriously destructive behaviour patterns such as addictions, anger issues, and even obsessive compulsive disorders.
What is a Human Being Mindset?
Do you want to learn how to kill it without killing your health and wellbeing? Would you rather strive toward your goals without being a slave to the effort of reaching them? Then, you need to think back to that question you were asked when you were a kid.
What do you want to BE?
What are you embodying?
What defines you as a person?
These are the questions that lead you to being a healthy, happy and fulfilled human being. A human being is mindful and lives in the moment. A human being is content with his own inner thoughts and feelings.
It is sufficient for a human being to just exist and hold space; doing so doesn’t produce feelings of anxiety or worthlessness. Human beings don’t define themselves by their occupations or the actions that they are taking to be successful.
A human being appreciates rest and recovery as a valuable part of their overall success equation. A human being doesn’t seek to dominate nature or the world around him to feel a sense of validation. Instead, a true human being searches for his place in the environment and yearns to participate in a constructive manner.
How Do You Get There?
If you want to transition from a human doing to a human being mindset, than you should try meditating. It’s second only to yoga as the most popular holistic mind and body practice in the United States. It can help reduce stress and anxiety. Mediation also produces a state of awareness that is more in sync with the world around you.
The human being mindset produces a better balance between work and leisure by recognizing the importance of both. When you don’t overvalue the sheer exertion of energy, you develop the ability to focus your energy in a more controlled manner. In other words – busy isn’t necessarily better.
Change the way you evaluate yourself. One of the biggest differences in human doing and human being mindset is how we view achievements. The human doing mindset only appreciates results. What you produce and can show off determines your value as a person.