What To Do When She Flirts With Other Men

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Tips when she flirts with other guys

Have you ever dated someone who has a wandering eye? When out with your girlfriend, does she check out other guys and sometimes hit on them?

If the answer is yes, you wouldn’t be alone. A major reason couples get into arguments relates to flirting. While most people think guys are usually the guilty party, it’s fair to say that women also (at times) engage in this activity.

So what should you do when something like this happens? Do you say anything or keep your mouth shut because you don’t want to come off as controlling?


The very first thing you’ll want to determine is if she was flirting in the first place. I mention this because sometimes when jealousy rears its ugly head, it has a way of distorting reality.

This point is particularly true if you struggle with self-esteem issues that ignite your anxiety.

That’s not to say what you experienced didn’t happen. Instead, it’s just a gentle nudge to encourage some self-assessment before taking any action.

The next step is to have an honest look in the mirror and own any of your own behaviors. In other words – have you been flirting?

If the answer is yes, has she noticed this? Women have a keen sense of intuition and can easily sense when the man they are dating flirts with others. They are born with this chip. Don’t try to understand it. Instead, just accept its existence.

Assuming you have been flirting, her behavior could be a passive- aggressive way of reflecting back your own stuff. I’m not saying this is right. It’s not.

Instead, I’m simply sharing what I’ve seen when working with couples.

Now if you can honestly say you haven’t been flirting with others, her behavior could be a signal something else is up on a deeper level.

I won’t mince words. Here are the possibilities:

  • She’s bored with you and the relationship
  • She may not feel you give her enough attention
  • She’s no longer attracted to you
  • She’s not ready to commit
  • It’s too early in the relationship to expect exclusivity

In these types of situations, it’s best to not jump to conclusions. In a mindful way, you need to speak with your girlfriend and share your observations.

You’ll need to have concrete examples. Be prepared for her to be a defensive. Remember that she will likely mirror your tone as part of the conversation.

That’s why I’m suggesting you need to mindful of how you approach the situation. It could very well be that you have misread the entire dynamic. Look for a history of behaviors and not just one incident.

Also, if alcohol was involved, you need to recognize that it can impair judgement. That’s not a permission slip what happened. But it is something to consider as you look at the big picture.

If during the conversation she admits to hitting on other guys and acts like it’s no big deal, you need to break up fast.

That’s because you are dating someone who is only interested in getting attention (from other guys) and could care less about your comfort zone.

Do you really want to be attached to someone like that – particularly for the long-term? By cutting things off, you show respect for yourself and preserve your self-concept.

Image credit: Deposit photos

About John D. Moore 391 Articles
Dr. John Moore is a licensed counselor and Editor-in-Chief of Guy Counseling. A journalist and blogger, he writes about a variety of topics related to wellness. His interests include technology, outdoor activities, science, and men's health. Check out his show --> The Men's Self Help Podcast