Are You Falling In Love With Your Friend? Here’s Some Questions To Find Out.
There’s an idea out there that guys and girls can’t be just friends. While, that’s not totally true, we understand why some people worry. Because it’s scary, and hard, to realize when you’re falling in love with your friend.
There are many kinds of worthwhile friendships out in this world. Some guys like to only be friends with other guys and some guys find solace in friendships with women.
On top of that, there are many different kinds of love out there. The love you feel for your mom is totally different than the love you feel for your girlfriend. And the same thing can be said for the loves you feel with your partner and the one you feel with your best friend.
But what if you don’t have a partner? And what if you start to realize your love for your best friend is changing? Are you falling in love with your friend? Maybe. Here’s how you can find out.
1. Physical Attraction
First off, are you physically attracted to your friend?
If you’re noticing your friend’s chest or butt often, you might be in trouble.
Take the time to actively be aware of what you’re looking at the next time you look at your friend. If you catch yourself staring at them inappropriately more than two or three times, you’re definitely physically into your friend.
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But don’t worry just yet. This doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you’re into your friend romantically. Lust or physical attraction is a natural part of a man’s life.
Just because you think your friend is hot doesn’t mean that you have to act on those physical feelings. That’s just a base reaction that can easily change at a moment’s notice. So, it’s good to know if you’re physically attracted to your friend, but it’s only step one in knowing if you’re actually in love with her.
2. Spending Time Together
Now, do you two spend a lot of time together? Who is the one that’s initiating these meetups? If you’re the one always calling or texting to hang out, you might be feeling her more than you realize.
But even more than that, why do you spend so much time with your friend? Is it because they make you laugh? Because they make you feel comfortable? Do you feel like you’re at your best when you’re around them?
While a friend can certainly make you feel these ways, if you are feeling this way intensely with your heart and your head heating up, you might not just love your friend. You might be in love with your friend.
3. Do They Make You Happy? In What Ways?
Going with that, in what ways do you make your friend happy and in what ways do they make you happy?
Do you take care of them when they’re sick or vice versa? Do you worry about what you’re wearing when you two go out? Do you highly regard their opinions? Do you find comfort in just being around them?
These are all important questions for any relationship, but they hold a special weight and truth when you’re in love with someone.
Again, we’re looking for intense feelings here. If you’re thinking of one specific friend right now, compare your answers here with other friends you have. Are your feelings for this friend stronger than the rest? Maybe it’s because you don’t just love her, you’re in love with her.
4. Social Circles
Speaking of other friends, do you have any?
That’s not an attack of any sort, but the question is important. If you don’t have a lot of social circles like friends at work, hobby friends, childhood friends, roommates, etc, you might find that one friend and then stick to them.
Finding a best friend and a comrade in life is a blessing we all deserve. But spending all your time with that friend can easily lead to some confusing feelings.
If you’re worried about falling in love with a friend, consider spending your time elsewhere. Don’t ignore and ghost your friend, but get some fresh air and see if your feelings are simply from the constant close proximity.
5. How Do You Think Of Them
Now what’s also important to wonder is how you think of your friend.
Is your friend an important fixture in your life? Does her presences mean the world to you in ways that other friends and people don’t? If so, that’s nice, but it might also be an indication that you’re feelings are veering towards falling in love and not just a friendly love.
Take some time to meditate on your thoughts about your friend. Do you go out with them because you enjoy their company or because you need their company? Does the thought of her make your heart feel a little heavy?
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It might just be that you subconsciously already know the answer to these questions, but you are consciously avoiding them. Take time to breathe and really unbiasedly think about your thoughts and feelings for your friend.
You might find the answer alarming.
6. The Future
While you’re thinking about your friend, one important question to ask is how you see your relationship going in the future.
You’ve probably heard the cliché advice of planning 5 to 10 years ahead of time. If you haven’t had a teacher ask you, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?,” you got off lucky.
So now, take that same strategy but apply your friendship under that gaze.
Where do you see yourself, and your friend, in 10 years? Are you still friends? Are you more? How close are you both emotionally and physically? Do you still live near each other or have you moved on? Do you visit and how often?
Depending on how dependent you are on your friend’s presence in your life, you may be more in love with them than you ever realized.
7. Forbidden Fruit
Lastly, is it possible you’re feeling something for your friend because they aren’t a viable romantic option?
Maybe it’s the idea of the forbidden fruit that’s attracting you to them. Maybe she’s a lesbian, maybe she’s already dating a guy, or maybe she has just expressed her disinterest. No matter the reason, the idea that you can’t have her might be the reason you want her.
The key in all of these steps is to be honest with yourself. If you’re already questioning whether you are interested in, attracted to, or in love with your friend, then you clearly are displaying intense feelings.
Be honest with yourself about the cause of those feelings and how they play out in your relationships.
Once you do, you can decide on whether you want to act on them or move past them and move on to other women.