7 First Date Tips for Men That Work

first date tips for men

First date tips for men

How can you stand out during your first few dates with a woman ensuring she wants to carry on seeing you? One answer is to strike a balance in everything you do, keeping a ‘balanced’ dating strategy in mind.

The ‘perfect balance’ dating strategy-outlined in seven helpful tips–will make you look like a strong, masculine man in all the right ways, without appearing over-dominant or pushy.

1. Follow her preferences but add a twist.

What would she like to do on her date with you? Invite her preferences but have suggestions for slight variations that show you’re investing time and effort.

If she wants to go for a drink, research some special drinking and eating places with great reviews. This shows you’d love to spoil her, while still doing what she prefers.

Run with her basic idea but add your twist by asking, ‘How about we …?’

2. Offer to pay but don’t insist.

A gentleman offers to pay, so do this in a way that shows she deserves a treat, but you won’t offend by insisting. When offering to pay, it’s critical to get the tone and wording precise.

You don’t want it to appear that you’re dropping hints about her paying half, at least not if you’d like a second date!

‘I’d love it if you let me treat you,’ is perfect. You’re making it clear that the reason you are offering is because she deserves a treat. It’s not just due to habit or social norms.

3. Compliment her but don’t be deferential.

Think of unique compliments and offer them freely but naturally.

Saying she looks or smells nice is old hat, so compliment her unique dress sense, the scent or tone of her lipstick, the cute dimple in her left cheek or the way she curls her hair. She’ll be amazed you’re noticing the small things other men miss.

More: How to flirt the right way

Asking where she bought her stunning jacket is great, too; you’ve noticed something she’s chosen and invited her to expand. How many other men indulge her in a discussion of shopping and clothes? Follow up by suggesting that she comes shopping and gives you a makeover!

Some men seem deferential or even impolite when trying to compliment, so practice these skills in daily life. Here are two examples of compliments to avoid:

“I can’t believe you climbed that mountain. I’d probably fall off.” This makes you sound inept, not manly and capable.

“Thank you for the lovely home-baked pie. I just hope it doesn’t bring out my allergy.” You counter-balanced a positive with a strong–potentially offensive–negative. Always use positive affirmation and remember that desirable men remain self-assured:

“I can’t believe you climbed that mountain. You’ve set a new challenge for me, then!”

“Thank you for bringing me the beautiful apple pie. Maybe you’ll help me to make one?”

Not only does the latter compliment her skills, it gives you an opening to see her again during a fun activity at home. If you did make the error of mentioning your allergy, you can even turn that into a playful, positive statement:

“That’s one amazing apple pie you brought me, and if my allergy kills me, I’ll go out happy!”

4. Have fresh ideas but don’t impose them.

Women love men who are decisive, so have fresh ideas for places to visit and things to do, and she’ll let you lead. A ‘leading’ man is masculine and alluring, so she’ll be intrigued to see what you come up with. However, don’t push your ideas if she doesn’t warm to them; she’ll still be impressed you bothered to think of things.

More: 7 reasons women won’t date you

If she brings up the idea of a second date, that’s when your prior research comes in useful; she’ll be wowed you’ve already thought of new activities.

5. Be protective but don’t smother.

Women love men who are protective and caring while recognizing feminine strengths.

Crossing the road, rest a hand on her back or her arm, looking out for the two of you as you dodge the traffic. Laugh and draw attention to your ‘manly act’; you’re acknowledging her independence while saying you’ll look out for her.

‘Okay, that’s my manly bit done. Humor me, will you?’ is a good way of poking fun at yourself.

Similarly, lead her to a quiet corner so she doesn’t have to loiter by the bar and those rowdy males; offer to get the drinks and the food order. Always be looking for how you can make her comfortable, but offer suggestions gently and respectfully.

‘This seat looks good. What do you think?’ is respectful. ‘You should sit here,’ is commanding and domineering, and nobody appreciates being controlled.

6. Use clean language but be flirtatious.

Many women love the notion that males can still be gentlemen.

Strike a balance by keeping your language clean and free of slang, swearing and sex talk, but do flirt and cast the occasional naughty innuendo-at least, do that if she has a sense of humor!

Don’t let flirtatiousness become crude, even if she steers it that way; she might think it’s what you want, as many males have the habit of turning all talk to sex. Equally, it could indicate she’s had too much to drink, so she’ll appreciate you keeping the discussion in check so she doesn’t embarrass herself. A female seeking a lasting relationship won’t thrive on shallow talk; she’ll love how you elevate her above it.

7. Laugh a lot but show your serious side.

Dating should be fun, and women love men who laugh frequently and heartily.

Don’t veer towards joke-telling as this is boring and, frankly, embarrassing. If the jokes aren’t funny to your date, she’ll still feel compelled to laugh. Some men try to turn whole dates into a joke, but this will backfire; she needs to see the real you.

Strike the balance by poking fun at yourself and the situation, but cover serious topics too. Good discussion topics might be how she brings up a child on her own or how it feels to be dating again after her divorce. While women love humor, they equally need to know their partner will discuss those deeper subjects where true connections can be created.

By practicing these ‘perfect balance’ techniques in daily life, you’ll see what a difference they make, even at work and among friends. The ability to be a strong leader yet flexible and considerate will make you unique and fun to be around, so you’ll be sure to win further romantic dates with the women you like.

If you are looking for more dating ideas from the male perspective, consider reading First Date Rules for Men (See Amazon).  Lots of practical insight to help you get your romance on.

About MJ Duff 44 Articles
Marie-Jones Duff is a Los Angeles based freelance multimedia journalist and frequent traveler with a fondness for all things bizarre and nerdy. Look for posts that focus on everything from men's fashion to science.