Find your purpose and get women in your life
Does it ever happen to you that as soon as you have a girlfriend, there is an endless amount of girls going after you? Like, even Jenny from the Accounting which you have been chasing for the last 3 months. As soon as you are off the market, everyone wants you. Where were these girls before and why am I so interesting to them right now?
And the reason behind this is that you send a different vibe. You are consciously the same person because nothing changed about you from yesterday to today. But you are in a relationship right now and you have that somewhere in the back of your mind.
What our bodies do is that they show these small changes with our posture, voice color, pitch and microexpressions. Basically, all of those things which are impossible to fake. Since people can’t put their finger on them, they simply call it “a different vibe.”
We have talked about the reasons why these things occur in the previous articles and yes, it is connected with evolutionary biology and psychology. But this exact topic has a way bigger background so we will skip that for one to keep the article focus on the what and how.
So here is a shortcut on how to actually become desirable to women and have that “a different vibe” element going for you.
What do you live for?
The secret is pretty simple. You need to find and pursue your purpose in life. I did say it was simple, but not easy because this is definitely not an easy task to do.
This works because your final goal isn’t to get the girl or get laid. Your final goal is to find someone who is complementary in life and someone who would fit the bigger picture and purpose.
But to gain this effects, you need to have two things going for you concerning your purpose.
Find your purpose
There are a couple of ways and two different schools that talk about finding your purpose. I won’t go in depth about that, but will just give you give a clear and concise way to actually finding your purpose.
To find your purpose, you need to ask yourself one simple question over and over again. And the question is “Why I do what I do?” It does sound simple and quite easy, but the answers to this question become harder and harder the more in-depth you go.
This question is made to actually discover your deepest motivators in life and if you go deep enough, you will for sure find the thing that ticks you.
Getting to your Why aka your purpose is a matter of practicing self-awareness and asking yourself the Why question. But after you realize and find what it is, then comes the hard part.
Pursue your purpose
We came to the hard part of the equation. It’s not enough to just find your purpose. Many people did that. But what separates dreamers from doers is that dreamers dream and doers do.
Once you figure out what you live for, what you want to die for and what ticks your life, it’s time to actively start investing time into it and making it come true. Otherwise, you are just a phony guy who doesn’t “walk-the-talk.”
And girls don’t buy into bullshit you tell them. As we already talked about in the previous articles, they buy into behaviors you do. If you don’t have a job, but tell girls you are a striving entrepreneur living in their mom’s basement, then they will pick that up soon enough. Even when you think you are lying effectively, you will start giving out microexpressions and signs which are not congruent with your talk.
So you need to not only talk about what you want to do, but actually do it. It actually doesn’t matter what your purpose is. It can be playing the guitar, being a professional League of Legends player or best hot-dog eater in the world. But what matters is that the thing you are doing is your passion. The girls feel that fire in your stomach and will in your eyes.
When you merge these two, something great will happen with your life. You will get that “a different vibe” element to you because you will actually feel like you are in a relationship…but not with your girlfriend, but your purpose in life.
And that will have two side-effects which are going to impact your life even more.
The two effects are outcome independence and non-neediness.
Imagine the following scenario: You walk into a bar and start talking with a girl. It’s going well so far but at one moment, the girl’s friends call her up to go home and you abruptly say goodbye there.
You ask for her phone number but she says that you are a nice and cute guy and doesn’t give you her number.
If you have your purpose and are pursuing it in life, you will actually be quite okay with this. Because you not getting her number is not the end of the world. You still have your purpose going for you. But if your only goal in life was to sleep with this girl, then your entire world crumbled down as soon as she didn’t give you her phone number.
When you have a purpose you pursue, you become outcome independent of the situation because you simply don’t care that much about the approval you will or won’t get from the girl. You are okay because you have your purpose.
For you, the girl is not the main dish. She is the salat that goes with it. If there is no salat, there is still the main dish and it’s great to it. A salat is a bonus that is a “nice-to-have” but not a “must.”
Your purpose is your main dish and the girl is the salat.
When you are complete as a person because you have your thing figured out, then you start becoming non-needy. You no longer need that girl over there to give you approval because you already it…and from the only person who should actually give you that and that is you!
You don’t even need to have your purpose going well for you. You can struggle with it (and you will, but the important thing is that you are pursuing it. Because the only validation you seek is your validation from your purpose.
The girl here, as in the outcome independence part, becomes a bonus and not the main dish.
All of the above are the side-effects of finding and pursuing your purpose. But that is easier said than done. Figuring out what your life purpose is and then having the courage to pursue is something 90% never do.
But you are not in that 90 % of people. You are in the 10% who actually want to live their purpose. And as a side-effect, you will enjoy the plethora of girls. All you have to do leap into it. Will you?