Hidden Emotions Revealed
Have you even been so angry that you cried? Or didn’t know the difference between guilt and shame? Well, sometimes as men, we don’t know how to properly interpret and access our own emotions.
Negative emotions can get in the way of your actions, interactions with others and your ability to think clearly. When you can’t make sense of your negative emotions, they can wreak havoc on your personal and professional life.
Yet, when you’re tuned into recognizing your emotions, you can better understand what they mean. Something inside of you is seeking your attention and understanding your emotions are the pathways to finding those answers.
Here are five hidden emotions that men often fail to recognize and in many ways are hidden from their awareness.
1. Anger
How to Recognize it:
You might feel the urge to lash out. You could verbally lash out, throw things, or even punch the wall. Your temperature and heart rate rises. For some guys, their hands start to shake, and they experience severe headaches.
What it Could Mean:
The underlying message is that there’s an immediate change that needs to happen in your life. Anger is one the emotions that men can easily access. Its naturally tied to our aggression and assertiveness. Something inside of you is reacting to an injustice or something that’s just not fair. At its core, anger is an emotion that triggers a deep desire for change or action.
It might be helpful to learn from your shadow self.
2. Sadness
How to Recognize it:
You might feel the urge to withdraw into yourself. You might not want to be around anybody or do anything. You might cry and not even know why you’re shedding those tears. You could experience a loss of appetite, sleeping too much or even not sleeping at all.
What it Could Mean:
The underlying message with sadness is similar to anger for most men. You recognize that something isn’t right in your life and you want it to change. That could be a circumstance, but it could also be a person. Another factor with sadness is a sense of loss, like something or someone’s been taken away from you.
Unlike anger, sadness is less immediate. It’s like a slow burning sensation that eats away at your core. Men who often feel sad could be suffering from mild to moderate depression. It could feel like regret or negative feelings about the past and present.
3. Shame
How to Recognize it:
You might feel the urge to hide or run away from everybody around you, even yourself. You might begin to entertain thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Yet, shame can lead to positive urges if you are proactive about it. You might feel the urge to rectify the situation by seeking to make amends.
What it Could Mean:
The underlying message with shame is that something on the inside of you is mis-aligned. Something inside of you fears that you might be excluded from society, family, or friends. It could be that there’s something you’ve done that you feel people won’t accept.
You might need to repair your relationship with others around you. Dealing with shame is difficult, especially for men because it requires a vulnerability that doesn’t always come naturally. Shame can compel us do something about the misalignment by changing or adapting to change. It should never be a signal to destroy yourself. Here’s how to identify and deal with toxic shame.
4. Anxiety (Fear)
How to Recognize it:
You might feel the urge to go backwards, run away, or stay still. This could manifest itself as a keen desire to hide or avoid an issue or a person. It could feel like paralysis. You might feel a sudden rise in temperature, heart rate or a sense of breathlessness.
What it Could Mean:
The underlying message with anxiety is that you might be feeling afraid, but men often struggle to reconcile the feeling of fear. It’s considered unmanly, but fear is quite natural.
Often, men who suffer from anxiety seek more time to deal with situations and that can lead to inaction. The message that your mind is sending out is that there’s a threat to your survival, your sanity, or your comfort, and you need to avoid it at all costs.
It’s important to note that running away can make anxiety even worse. One of the best ways to confront fear is by calmly increasing your exposure to it and building your confidence level. Anxiety and fear should be challenged and respected.
5. Guilt
How to Recognize it:
You might feel the need to isolate yourself, to avoid a situation or run away. Guilt is closely related to shame, but guilt can be more emotionally destructive. When you feel guilty, you might also feel the urge to punish yourself.
What it Could Mean:
The underlying message that your mind is trying to tell you is that you’ve compromised your values. There’s a misalignment inside of you. At least, that’s what the perception is. You’ve somehow wronged someone or wronged yourself by going against your beliefs.
Your core beliefs and values are particularly important. They form the internal judgement that you use to interpret whether your thoughts and actions are correct. The only problem is that our core values aren’t always accurate, true, or beneficial.
In those cases, we need to confront our core values. So, if you feel guilty, the first step is to evaluate your thoughts, actions, and your core beliefs in an objective manner. If you’ve truly wronged yourself or someone else, then you should try to make amends. You should avoid any thoughts that lead you down a path of self-destruction or punishment.
Hidden Emotions Wrap Up
If you’ve ever been so angry that you’ve cried, then you know that negative emotions can be confusing. For men, some emotions are easier to access than others. That’s just how men are hardwired.
Society also makes dealing with certain emotions difficult for men. As men, we don’t have many outlets to express our sensitivity to negative emotions. That’s why it’s important to support one another and educate ourselves on self-care, mental health, and the power of mindfulness.
When you learn to recognize the physical manifestations of negative emotions, the rise in body temperature when you’re angry, the urge to withdraw from others when you’re ashamed, then you can explore the messages that these emotions bring.
Your subconscious is trying to tell you something. You don’t need to ignore these road signs. You can use that information wisely and take command of your emotions and there’s nothing more manly than that.
