The good, bad, and ugly on the Scorpio man
Are you attracted to a Scorpio man? Trying to understand how Scorpio men operate in love and relationships? Hoping to gain better insight into this water sign?
If the answer is yes, you wouldn’t be alone. Many people are curious about Scorpios because for whatever reason, they are strangely attracted to them.
Maybe this applies to you?
My hope in penning this piece is to help you as a reader better understand the Scorpio mind. So much of what appears on the Internet about these men is confusing. And to keep it real, a lot of it is nonsense.
I should know – I’m a Scorpio man.
Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve spent countless hours studying ancient mysticism, including astrology. Like many other Scorpio men, I am eerily drawn to the supernatural.
Long ago, I learned to accept this and not question why.
But before continuing, I need to be upfront and share that I am not an astrologer nor a psychic.
Instead, I’m just a guy who happens to be trained in psychology with deep knowledge about psycho-spirituality. If you are unfamiliar with that term, I will give you a quick definition.
Psycho-spiritualism is a $10.00 word used to describe the blending of spirituality with modern psychology. The famous psychiatrist Carl Jung often infused aspects of astrology into his teachings as a pathway to self-insight.
An example can be found in dream interpretation, where Jung used mysticism to help extract meaning (Jung, 1939). I’m sharing this with you for background information only as I have no hidden agenda.
And so now that all the cards are on the table, let’s dive deep into 25 truths about Scorpio men in love and relationships. What follows is the real deal, including the good, the bad, and the ugly.
1. He’s intense and passionate
Out of all 12 Zodiac signs, Scorpio is the most intense. There are a number of reasons for this and directly relate to the sign’s ruling planets: 1. Mars and 2. Pluto.
Mars is considered “hot” because of its close proximity to the sun. Pluto is considered “cold” for its distance. When the polarities of both celestial bodies are combined, they vibe out alpha energy that is extremely intense.
You will always know when you are in the presence of a Scorpio man because deep inside, you’ll feel him staring into your soul. If you’ve ever been attached to a Scorpio guy, you know this to be true.
2. He can sense your feelings and thoughts
When a Scorpio man tunes into you, it’s a good bet he’ll know exactly what you are feeling. No, we don’t mind read. Although some do think the sign has supernatural abilities.
What’s really going on is this – the men have a way of anticipating what you will say and intuitively sense your emotions without you ever speaking a word.
This ability in part has something to do with Scorpio being a water sign. In simple-speak, water signs are deep.
And here’s something you may not know. Scorpio is particularly empathic with Cancer and Pisces. That’s because all three are represented by the element of water.
FYI: The scorpion species is considered an arachnid. That’s the scientific name for 8-legged animals called arthropods. For example, spiders are considered arachnids.
Ever hear of the term “spidey senses” – as in Spider-Man? Now you know a little more about the whole intuition thing.
3. Super logical to a fault
There’s no easy way to say it except to blurt it out. Scorpio men are extremely logical. Gifted with strong listening skills, they have the ability to analyze complicated issues and find solutions.
This is a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, they can compartmentalize their emotions focus like a laser on a particular issue.
On the other hand, that focus often turns into a fixation.
Some have compared this personality trait to Mr. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) on Star Trek. In many ways, the analogy fits. Much depends on the situation.
Speaking of fixation now would be a good time to explore the next trait.
4. He’s going to be obsessive
All Scorpios (men and women) are obsessive. But in the case of guys, this characteristic is amplified – empowered by a high degree of anxiety.
I’ve met many who have told me they struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Speaking only for myself, I can tell you that I personally live with OCD.
At any rate, the good part of being obsessive is that goal attainment almost always happens. The bad part, however, is that in pursuit of a goal, we can often make life hell for the people around us – particularly a mate.
5. The men are very competitive
This trait too can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. Generally speaking, Scorpios are highly competitive. Athletically inclined, they excel at various sports.
The same holds true in other life areas, such as career and business. Much of this has to do with the previously mentioned trait of obsessiveness.
The bad part is that Scorpios (particularly men) sometimes have a “win at any cost” mentality. In turn, this can cause them to make decisions that aren’t always wise – at least for the long- term.
In romantic relationships, Scorpion men can be extremely aggressive. I’m mentioning this because that “win at any cost” approach can spell trouble, particularly if the guy becomes obsessed with you.
This leads us to another characteristic – one you’ll really want to pay attention to.
6. He’s horribly jealous
I hate to admit this but it’s true. Scorpios are highly jealous creatures. But here’s the thing – you won’t be able to tell because we’re experts at hiding our truth.
The problem stems from being majorly territorial. In turn, this leads us to mistrust others. We can’t help it – it’s just part of who we are.
If we sense you are interested in someone else, which isn’t hard for us to do, we begin crafting a plan of action. Often, those “plans” involve manipulation (see next point).
7. He’s also manipulative
This is another terrible trait to admit but you want to know the real deal about this sign, right? The reality is that many of us can be highly manipulative. The reason? Simply to get what we want.
That said, the manipulation doesn’t happen through nefarious means. Instead, it’s usually part of a general charm offensive that involves physical prowess and often, sex.
Additionally, the manipulation stems (in part) as a reaction to the above-mentioned jealousy trait.
8. He’s going to have body image issues
While not true for all, many Scorpion men struggle with body image issues. This makes sense when one considers that the male version of this sign places a high premium on how they look.
And because of the obsessive trait we covered earlier, the body image issues often become amplified.
If you pick this up in your man, the best thing you can do is gently reassure him he looks fine. In fact, it’s perfectly OK to tell him that he’s obsessing on the issue.
Scorpios are well aware of how they tend to hyper-focus in unhealthy ways and are OK with reminders.
Don’t, however, lie to him.
Example: If he’s complaining he’s gained weight and it’s obvious, you are far better off encouraging him to stick with his fitness goals. Telling him something that isn’t true as a pacifier is not a good idea.
Always remember lying to a Scorpio is a deal breaker.
9. He needs to be in charge
Right or wrong, the Scorpio guy you like needs to be in charge. The men are born leaders and are usually very assertive and dominant. Teddy Roosevelt is an example of a strong Scorpio male.
This characteristic lends itself to different life areas. Think work, home, and the bedroom.
That said, the guys do like partners who can make decisions. If you are passive, it’s probably not going to work. The one exception to this might be someone who is Pisces; a sign that struggles with indecisiveness.
This is not to say they aren’t open to feedback. Scorpions often solicit advice from others and infuse alternative viewpoints into the decision making process.
The key is to be a willing and partner. And while you may be the person who wears the pants in the relationship, it’s critical to make your Scorpion guy think he’s the one in charge.
10. He’s going to be secretive and mysterious
The easiest way to spot a Scorpio man is to look for the guy who is sporting a pair of sunglasses – even on cloudy days or at night.
I’ve heard some women describe the males as “bad boys” because they vibe out highly sexual energy that is magnetically seductive.
If you are noticing this trait in the man you are dating, here’s why.
In the traditions of horoscopic astrology, Scorpio falls under the eight house. This metaphysical structure holds a number of powers, including sensuality, sexuality, and mystery.
11. He can be cool and emotionally distant
Because the ice planet Pluto partially rules this sign, Scorpio often comes off to others as cool and distant. This is not intentional but instead, part of his persona.
It doesn’t help things that the sign is so obsessive. In the case of men, this can cause them to get caught up in various activities. In turn, this can leave a mate feeling neglected.
The best way to handle this issue is to gently let your man know he’s getting lost in whatever he’s fixated on. Because he’s intuitive, he’ll likely step back for a moment and reassess.
But I’m going to level with you. If the man you are with is hyper-focused on something, you aren’t going to be able to stop it. All you can really do is ride it out and trust that it will pass.
Just remember, that distance you feel doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.
12. The guys are sexually dominant
One of the main reasons some women gravitate towards Scorpio men relates to rumors sex. The question is: Are the rumors true?
The simple answer is – yes.
If a Scorpion guy is attracted to you physically and the feeling is mutual, you can expect a highly passionate experience. The intensity of lovemaking becomes amplified if there is a strong emotional connection.
There is one catch so listen up.
Scorpio males do not like being dominated. It’s a major turn-off. It is okay if you initiate things – in fact, that’s encouraged. But if you have an agenda, he’s going to pick up on it and shoot the whole thing down.
13. Super protective to a fault
Once you enter into a relationship with this sign, you need to know the men can be super protective. They won’t allow anyone to disrespect their mate – not even a little bit.
I’ve personally met Scorpion guys who have gotten into fights with other men because they said something offensive about their mate.
A Scorpio man will do whatever it takes to protect the people he loves and will even put his own life at risk to ensure their safety.
On some level, this may seem like an admirable trait. Just be careful because this characteristic can also get them into trouble.
14. He has a memory of an elephant
When you enter into a relationship with a Scorpion dude, you need to know they have powerful memory banks (short and long term).
They can recall the smallest detail of a situation, particularly the spoken word. I’m talking about right down to the inflection of your voice.
Bear in mind, Scorpion memory is most powerful when there is a strong emotional connection.
15. He’s a caretaker
Many consider this trait to be a good thing. Generally speaking, that’s true. When you pair up with a Scorpion man, there’s a good chance he’ll want to nurture and support you.
But the caretaking quality isn’t always desirable. That’s because the sign tends to over-care for a mate and it can manifest into controlling behaviors.
In addition – and this applies to Scorpion men exclusively – they have a real hard time with a mate earning more money than they do.
Awful thing to admit but it’s true. Go back to point number 8 and it will make sense.
The truth is Scorpio needs to be a caretaker because it is an extension of their need to control. This can pose a real problem for other signs who are also caretakers, such as Cancer.
16. He’ll have back problems
Most Scorpio men struggle with back problems, particularly in the lower lumbar region. The reason is simple. Because of their obsessive nature, they tend to hold stress and anxiety in the lower back.
Sometimes, the pain can be crippling.
If you want to get close to your man, offer occasional backrubs and massages. Not only will you touch upon one of his androgynous zones, you’ll also help him to release negative energy.
17. He’s going to be brutally direct
An important thing to keep in mind when you are romantically involved with this sign is the men tend to be brutally direct. He will let you know exactly what’s on his mind. There will be no mincing of words and no passive-aggressive game playing.
Many people find this to be a welcome trait. That said, if you happen to be the sensitive type, it may take some getting used to.
When a Scorpio man is in love with you, he’s going to tell you straight out how he feels. Moreover, you will be able to sense this deep inside. His touch, voice, and general presence will intuitively speak to your heart.
The key thing is to allow his emotions to unfold organically. It can’t be rushed or manipulated. If he picks up on you trying to snare him, he’s going to walk.
18. He’ll be loyal to you
If you are looking for a man who will not cheat, bonding with a Scorpio guy is a good choice. After the initial period of mating and the emotional connection is locked, he’s yours.
But there are a few caveats.
First, he’s going to demand monogamy. Second, he’ll always be suspicious of you (even when there is no reason to be). It is just the nature of the sign and it can’t be changed.
This is not to say the men don’t like to check out other women. They do – a lot. See the next point for more insight.
19. He’s big on flirting
Even when he’s committed himself to you in the emotionally and physically, it doesn’t mean your man won’t have a wandering eye. He will. He’s also going to flirt.
You may be wondering why?
It’s simple. It’s all about Scorpio being born under the eight house of the Zodiac. In simple-speak, this metaphorical structure contains the twin vibrations of mystery and sexual energy.
Translation: Scorpions (men and women) vibe out magnetic intrigue. It is their nature to flirt. Moreover, they like when other people check them out.
20. Your man will be introverted
This is not a sign that wants to steal the limelight or be the center of attention like some Leo men do. Instead, your Scorpio man will try to blend himself into the background, quietly and discretely. There, he will simply observe everything that is happening.
That’s not to say the guys can’t be social. They can be. But if given a preference, they prefer a small, intimate groups over large crowds. This is a truth for all water signs.
Reading a good book, watching a movie, or simply engaging in one on one dialogue with you is more than enough to satisfy him.
21. He will strangely be attracted to water
Wondering where to go on vacation with your man? Trying to plan the perfect get-away? If so, it would be smart to arrange plans where water is present.
Like a moth to a flame, Scorpios are drawn to the sea. This could be a lake, pond or the ocean. It doesn’t really matter. All you need to know is that water has a calming effect on him.
Swimming, camping, and boating activities are all excellent choices. Water has a restorative effect on the guys and for reasons that I do not fully understand.
22. Handle criticism with care
I’m just going to blurt it out. Scorpios aren’t the best at handling criticism. This doesn’t mean they aren’t open to feedback. They are. But it’s all about the delivery.
When handled properly, your man will appreciate that you took the time to point out a behavior that needs adjustment. The best approach is to appeal to his logical side, using wisdom as your guide. Avoid attacking him when possible. Otherwise, you will get stung – badly.
Some signs are naturally gifted in this area. Others not so much. For example, Aquarius and Scorpio can sometimes butt heads because of faulty communications.
23. Scorpio guys are good with money
If you want to date a man who is good with money and makes smart financial decisions, Scorpio males are a smart choice. While it is true they are a feeling sign and prone impulsivity, this trait doesn’t extend to the world of finance.
The hard truth is this sign likes to hoard cash. Not because they are cheap. Instead, it’s about money representing security and freedom.
This is not to say the guys won’t buy you lavish gifts or trinkets. They absolutely will. But look for those behaviors during the mating phase when he’s trying to win you over.
24. He’ll have a brainy job
Mentally, Scorpios like to be challenged. It’s all about solving mysteries, healing hurts and getting to the root of problems. Many are employed in careers such as healthcare, psychology, criminology, finance, and engineering.
They usually make great salaries although monetary reward isn’t what motivates them. Instead, the Scorpion psyche needs to apply his analytical skills to feel whole. Money is, therefore, a byproduct of his efforts.
25. Expect him to be fiercely independent
Perhaps more so than any other sign, Scorpio men are super independent. They absolutely detest the notion of someone taking care of them.
The fastest way to turn one off is to get clingy. That’s a big no-no, particularly during the first few months of courtship.
Some have suggested the sign is also stubborn. On some level, this may be true. But it’s really more about the guys not wanting to be controlled – by anyone.
Bonus: He’s going to love ALL of you
When a Scorpio man is in love with you, he will love all of you. This means the parts you want him to see and other parts you are trying to hide.
If you have body image issues, he’ll understand. If you are struggling with challenges around self-esteem, he’ll be there for you and not judge. Feeling a bit depressed and need support? Yep, he’ll be right by your side.
Dating, bonding, and loving a Scorpio man can be complicated. By nature, we aren’t the easiest creatures to get along with.
Some accuse us of being self-absorbed narcissists. Others think we are “too much” to handle. For most of us, that’s just not the case.
In truth, we’re just like anybody else. The only real difference is that we tend to love hard, hurt hard, and feel deeply.
I hope you found the insight shared on this page useful. Thank you for stopping by.
Jung, C. (1939). The integration of the personality. Oxford, England: Farrar & Rinehart.