Let’s talk about psycho-girlfriends and what that really means.
Do you have a psycho girlfriend? Are you friends with someone who is struggling with this issue? Curious about what to do?
If you are answering yes to any of the above, you wouldn’t be alone. In the normal course of conversation, this topic comes up frequently among men. This article is designed to explore the matter and move about the business of helping you to figure out options.
But it’s worth mentioning now – the term psycho-girlfriend has many negative connotations – with good reason. The problem is too many of us have adopted it into our regular vernacular and it has become a kind of slang. In truth, we need to stop using these words. Perhaps by the end of this article, you will be convinced as to why.
But for now, let’s explore this issue with the language that brought you here in the first place.
How did I attract this woman into my life?
You see, there is an old quote that goes “You attract what you are” or “Like attracts like.” This is the premise of the Law of Attraction. The people behind this quote use a lot of woo-woo terminologies which are purely subjective.
So I won’t go into the woo-woo thingies. I will use hard facts and science to show you that yes, you really attract what you are. Our brain is bombarded at every single moment by millions of bits of information. In truth, we can only process around 40 bits at the same time.
So what does our brain do with all of that excess data? I’ll tell you what happens – it purposefully stops certain information from being absorbed. And the easiest way to prove this is to look around your room right now and spot everything that is orange. You did? Good. Now close your eyes and tell me everything that is green in the room. You couldn’t? Of course not. Because you actively told your brain to search only for the orange things in the room, not the green ones.
Your mind actually saw the green things, but they weren’t processed by the brain.
The part of your brain which does this is called RAS or Reticular Activation System.
It’s like Saint Peter who guards the entrance to Heaven. Only the worthy shall pass.
But what is worthy to pass you ask? The things you tell your brain. Simple as that. And that is the science behind the Law of Attraction.
But Bruno, what does all of this have to do with my psycho girlfriend?
Well, my friend, it means that on some level you actually want a psycho girlfriend. And before you close this article thinking that I am talking nonsense here, please stay until the end. You will have a clearer mind after reading it.
How did I get into this mess?
There was a case a couple of years ago where a young guy faked lunacy to get out of a prison sentence. But by faking it, he actually showed to his therapists how his mind works.
And a sane mind wouldn’t even think about a “solution” like that, which just proved to them that he actually has “a pinch” of lunacy within him.
So how did you even get a psycho girlfriend? By doing just that – you have projected your own lunacy (one way or another) onto your so called psycho girlfriend.
You went into a bar or a disco and searched for a certain type of girl. Maybe you wanted someone who is spontaneous, a bit crazy and flirty by nature. Or you wanted a stable person, with a 9-5 job. It really depends on you, but the signs are there. You are either deliberately closing an eye to it or you subconsciously want a psycho girlfriend. If it’s the first thing, you really need to use your brain instead of your…. you know what, to make the judgment of having this girl as your (psycho) girlfriend.
Because a “psycho girlfriend” can be fun… until she isn’t. So the first thing is to look at the cause, not the effect. You need to ask yourself why the hell are you even attracting a psycho girlfriend or girlfriends. And to be honest, my friend, the answer almost always lies within you.
But what is actually a psycho girlfriend?
A profile of a psycho girlfriend
The problem is that we define a really wide type of behavior as psycho girlfriend behavior.
She looks at your phone while you type a message. Is that psycho girlfriend behavior or just insecurity?
She checks upon you by calling your phone a couple of times. Is that psycho girlfriend behavior or is she just worried about your safety?
She calls your mother out for lunch after your first date. Does that mean she’s off or…. okay, this really is crazy girlfriend behavior.
But the thing here is that we are fast to judge or brand someone a”psycho” for the things that are not so crazy. A girl can be insecure or frustrated or simply jealous, but that doesn’t make her a psycho girlfriend.
You might have other definitions or checklists to see if you are dealing with this situation, but in all sincerity, a true psycho girlfriend is someone who has a mental disorder and/or is violent with you. That is at least by my book, what qualifies for the definition. The problem is we men have misused the term so much that it has taken on meanings it never should have.
Moreover, it’s terribly misogynistic and plays into stereotypes. Seriously, it does. If you really want to know what it means to have a psychotic break, read this article from the National Alliance on Mental Health.
How to deal
I will use the quote by Tony Robbins here “Kill the monster while it’s small.” He said this when he talked about bad habits and behaviors, but it can be used for a relationship with a “crazy” girlfriend as well.
I am suggesting you kill the relationship as soon as possible! You need to get away from that person before she becomes even more attached. Because the more attached she is, the more it will take to get away. And anyone who is truly mentally unbalanced cane be hard to get away from.
If you are already stuck in there and you think that the abrupt halt to the relationships would mean a lot of damage to you, then you only have one option. And that is to make yourself as undesirable as possible.
I don’t even have to tell you how to do this because every guy, deep down himself (and some on the surface), knows what he needs to do to become undesirable.
But let’s move and see how to prevent this in the future
The moment you start working on yourself is the moment you will stop attracting unhealthy people to you. Because these girls usually have their lives in a complete and utter mess (perhaps like you). So if you happen to be a guy who wants to attract stability, you need to be living a stable life.
By doing so, you will be better able to detect “bad” connections in your life.
Because why would you tolerate something like that? You are a high-value guy who only deserves the best out there and you don’t want to spend your time, energy, money or nerves onto someone who is going to make your life miserable.
There is more (and better) fish in the sea so move along. But you need to get your own life together before anything else. This may mean dealing with your own issues, like depression and anxiety.
After you do this, things will change. Because the new girl you meet will be like the green things in a room – something out there in the world but not on your radar.
I’ll start where I began. The term “psycho-girlfriend” is a really negative term. As men, we shouldn’t use it. But if you insist on referring to your mate in this way, perhaps it’s time to look in the mirror.