Want to get a girl interested in You? Use these tips
“Nobody talks to girls in real life anymore,” said a friend of mine recently. “It’s all just likes and stuff online.”
That statement is so difficult to swallow. It’s mostly true, yet paradoxical because to date someone you eventually want to have real conversations with them in person. Right?
Well, according to a Pew Research poll the use of online dating apps has more than tripled since 2013. Unfortunately, a third of people who meet someone through online dating never actually go out on a date with them.
One of the reasons is that there’s no substitute for actually meeting and talking to girls in the real world. Let’s face it – people lie on their online profiles and it can be difficult to build true chemistry through your keyboard.
So here are some helpful tips for talking to girls in the real world and getting past “Hello, my name is…”
Tip 1. – Be Patient. Be Seen.
One of my general dating rules is to never approach a girl the first time that you see her. Women are notoriously standoffish and generally don’t appreciate being approached by strangers.
She might be the hottest girl you’ve ever seen, but don’t be in a rush to walk up and tell her. Instead, try to make eye contact from a distance or stand near her without seeming too creepy. Give her a chance to check you out.
Don’t feel bad if she walks away and don’t be afraid to walk away yourself. Just try to project an attitude of quiet calm that silently says –“I’m normal. I’m self-assured and I’m in no rush to get to know you.”
Tip 2. – It’s What You Don’t Say That’s Important
So much of creating chemistry is about body language and projecting subtle cues that take place on a sub-conscious level. What you tell yourself is more important than anything that you will ever say to her.
Before you utter a single word, tell yourself that you have an amazing life. Think of all the things you’re grateful for and focus on positive aspects of your own personality. It will show up in your posture and your facial expressions. Build your confidence.
Place your shoulders back. Stand up tall. Put your chin up and walk straight. A field study conducted in 2016 found that men who exuded an expansive, open body stance were 76% more likely to get a date with a woman of zero acquaintance.
Tip 3. – Don’t Straddle the Fence
Now, it’s time to say something to that hot girl across the bar. The worst thing you can do is look at her, approach her, and just hover around her for the next 30 minutes. Women appreciate a direct and focused approach. Don’t appear to be insecure. If you want to talk to her, then just walk over and say hello.
Don’t put your hands in your pocket and don’t make overtly friendly remarks that could be confused with simple small talk. She might not know if you’re interested in her romantically, or just waiting on your friend to come out of the restroom.
Related: Why girls won’t date you
The best way to do this is to give her a compliment, a compliment that she might not expect. A pretty girl will hear that she has nice eyes a thousand times, but she might not be expecting you to complement her shoes. “I just wanted to say that I really like your shoes. Um-hm.
I noticed them right away as soon as you walked in the room. Are they really comfortable or do you just make walking in heels look so easy?”
Tip 4. Stay In The Pocket
Now, you’re having a conversation. Ask questions. Show genuine interest. I like to think of my conversations with girls as a football play. I’m the quarterback.
I’ve said hello and that’s like hiking the ball. The play has started. Her defenses are blitzing me like crazy, but the longer I can stay in the pocket, the better chance I have of creating a successful play and scoring a touchdown.
Don’t throw the ball away hastily (so to speak) by just saying hello, asking for her number and getting the hell out of there. She might not even remember you in the morning.
Show her that you are comfortable being next to her. Brush up against her gently with your hand when you share a laugh. Read the defense and adapt. Did she pull away from you or take a step back?
Then, spend more time creating comfort by revealing something about yourself. “I’ve actually never been to this club before. I usually go to festivals a few times a year.” Did she simply nod her head, or did she say something like “Oh, really?”.
Elaborate and then get right back to asking her questions about her interests. The longer you wait to get her number or arrange for your next encounter, the better chance you will have of creating a long-lasting impression.
Once, I stayed at a specialty coffee shop until they closed talking to a girl about Keanu Reeves movies. I pretended that the time just got away from me, but I knew what was happening all along. We both laughed, and I asked if we could continue the conversation some other time.
Tip 5. Be Your Best Self
You might hear people say “Just be yourself.” That’s a load of crap, especially if you’re shy, introverted and have a lack of social experience. You can be yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be your best self.
You see, there is a version of you that is authentic, but optimized with all of your best qualities and traits right up front. That’s the you that you want to project when trying to get past a simple hello.
Don’t brag. Don’t be a showoff either. Think of yourself as a salesman. If you were selling a used car, you wouldn’t lead a prospective buyer right to that rust damage on the underside of your rear fender.
Instead, you’d talk up that great interior and newly-overhauled transmission. So, put your best traits forward and keep your worst traits in back.
For me that means talking about my passion for writing and promoting literacy in third world countries. Find your golden laurel and show it off.
The Takeaway
These are just helpful tip and hints for getting past that initial awkward moment of approaching a girl you like. Online dating is growing exponentially and 55 percent of American say that they met their spouse through online dating, but eventually you must log off and create chemistry in the real world.
You do that by being patient, being direct, and being confident enough to engage your crush in a lengthy, meaningful conversation.
Remember to ask lots of open-ended questions and when things drag on simply reveal something interesting about yourself.
Just don’t reveal that you once spent thirteen hours straight on Grand Theft Auto.
